“Mother, a word that means the whole world to me! – Howard Johnson”

A mother is specie, human for example, who shows unconditional love to her offspring. Mothers, by all means, are the most special person in our life who since birth has nurtured us with love and compassion.

Mama, Mom, Mommy, Ma or whatever colloquial words you may call your mother, still these terms denotes affection to the child’s life. Mums deserve to be thanked for a million reasons that if enumerated a millennium wouldn’t be enough. On every downfall of her child’s journey through life, mums are the first person who shed tears and feels the pain.

But through it all, mums are also the first one who helps her child in standing up and make every mistake a learning experience to become a better person.

What is so amazing about mums, are their big hearts in which though so many times her child have hurt her, still the place of the kid in her heart has never been replaced and her love for her offspring strengthens.

Mums on their special day deserve a special treat. Usually, we buy gifts on their birthdays. Things they wish to have or things that symbolizes how thankful we are having such a great mum like them. But either of these would do as long as your gift would come across its essence, which is making your mum feel how lucky you are having her in your life.

Expensive gifts such as health spas gift checks, salon makeovers, shopping galore, dream car & dream house or a vacation trip on other countries wouldn’t be necessary, but if you have the riches, then go for it! Your mum deserves a day off.

It’s her time to pamper herself from years of taking good care of you. She deserves the luxury she forbids herself from just to provide you all your needs and wants.

If you’re not that wealthy enough to provide her with such luxuries, personalized gifts would do, as long as the thought you wish to convey is being delivered through the gift. What’s important is the concept of making her feel she’s being loved by you.

A love that is unconditional and eternal as well. Home baked cake, figurines or scented candles made by you are some terrific ideas of putting across your thoughts about your mum.

Your “never said words” of appreciation and thankfulness could be expressed through personalized cards or handicrafts, and a lot more ideas of putting into words your gratitude having a mum like her are some great ideas of conveying your feelings towards your mum.

But whatever gifts you’ll give your mum on her birthday, still the most significant present she might wish she’ll receive on this special day is the acknowledgement of her sacrifices and her noble offerings she gave for you since birth.

The recognition of her unending nuisance and struggle just to give you the best things you could all have- quality education, comfortable shelter and good values are some of these things.

A promise of becoming a better person and behold an image of decency, a pledge of living your life with the principles you’ve learned from her and the assurance of doing the same thing on your future family and children to be are just a few of your mum’s wishes not just for her but for you as well.

Being present and feeling bliss is the moment in which you are not thinking of anything else, hence the concept that we are already enlightened, is because what prevents enlightenment is living in thoughts of past or future, i.e., memories.

By being fully present in the very moment, we are no longer in memory and that gives a state of pure bliss by removing us from the thoughts which we worry about. The practices of meditation or anything in which you can put your entire concentration into a single point is the method of taking your mind from memories and putting it into the very present moment that provides a blissful experience which is the benefit of meditation or rather, the pleasure of meditation.

If we can truly focus long enough on a single point and stay out of memory long enough, then a much more profound experience can happen. What keeps us in memories? Fears, self centered egoistic desires, attachment to our human life and existence, anything that happens to us as a human being, what we fear or desire to happen, to avoid pain and seek pleasure, which sets in motion a chain of events of conditions and circumstances related to the item we are preoccupied with.

The question is how to get the mind to be so fully present long enough for the experience to occur. The analogy is if you are holding a ball or other small object with your palm facing down at shoulder height, and you let it fall, then as it is falling, quickly catch it again before it hits the ground.

This is what our mind is like when we do achieve a certain level of concentration, we can get the feeling of freedom of having let go, but we so quickly return to our habitual thoughts that we never actually complete the journey for the mind to attain complete rest.

As the ball falls through the air, that is the length of the experience. But because we catch it before it hits the ground, it never stops moving. We lift it back up again and repeat the movement, never completing the journey and stop moving. The mind never rests on the firm foundation of the ground, or rather our own true nature, the ultimate end of our seeking.

We must do this with our mind, to be able to lay it to rest, let it fall all the way down to total stillness without catching it with other thoughts which keep it moving.

This is where finding a person who you so deeply love and trust allows you to let your whole body and mind completely melt and rest without any mental movement by being so totally focused on your union. Even a hug is capable of achieving that same experience of total relaxation and release of all physical tension, if there are no other thoughts than the hug.

Other practices are certain breathing techniques, Tai Chi or Qi Gong if done correctly, are methods which require total mental focus and relaxation of the body such that the mind can be released from its habitual thoughts long enough to reach a profound state of inner peace and calm, which if maintained long enough brings a more profound experience of enlightenment. This then brings the experience of being truly awake and present. Being fully awake is what the word, ‘Buddha’ means. Buddha means, the awakened one. Thus enlightened means awake.

The method to achieve this requires the acceptance of the futility or irrelevance of everything in life. The ultimate irrelevance of everything, but that can be depressing because if that is true, there is no point or purpose to life. This is the danger of following a path towards enlightenment, is that it sounds contradictory and most definitely counter productive if a person does not understand how life can be totally pointless and yet extremely valuable at the very same time.

A WORLD OF OPPOSITES

It is in knowing that all things exist only because their opposite exists. This is a world of duality. Hot cannot exist without there being cold. It takes a lot of contemplation to comprehend the concept of the law of opposites that everything must have its opposite in this world. The great importance of things is on one end of the scale, the total irrelevance is the polar opposite, thus both must exist simultaneously for every subject.

The relevance has to do with your human existence, the irrelevance is the reality of the eventual end with the passing of time, even it that is hundreds or thousands of years. Of course we are not speaking of the great masters throughout history, Da Vinci, Mozart or the inventors of fire and the wheel who have given society great advancements. We are speaking of us, the average people, and there are more of us than there are geniuses. We are the ones I am writing for.

Every normal person has a life which we will live, and hopefully attain a great state of bliss and happiness. A friend of mine who was a judge for 30 years said that he has discovered something about humanity. All the crimes are committed by 5% of the people, another 5% make the world go round, the other 90% just eat the food. If you are in the 90% who exist and your life does not change the world in any way that will alter the future of humanity, you may be mistaken.

One by one our lives become better and thus in the very long term have a beneficial effect on humanity. If enough of the 90% become more awake it is inevitable that there will be a long term alteration of humanity.

Consider this, we as individuals are going to die, but as a species, humanity will continue. By simply bringing yourself to a state of balance, happiness and freedom, you will inevitably influence others in this way, and that is how the one who just eats the food becomes a vital part of the evolution of humanity as a whole. This happens by realizing that everything is very important in our life, the relative reality. At the same time remember the absolute reality is that ultimately everything is irrelevant.

“Eventually, everything become irrelevant”

With this understanding of the eventual end, we can release our fears and enjoy what we do have and with this positive attitude many better things will come into our life.

Kevin Spacey made it seem like very serious business in “The Negotiator” and we agree with him! It is important that budding entrepreneurs equip themselves with a strategy for effective negotiation. Why, you ask? Its simple… every one thinks about their own selves, avers Dale Carnegie of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” fame. Doing smart business is often a question of striking deals that are attractive to others while serving one’s own interests. This is where good negotiating skills come in handy.

Negotiating skills are needed during all business interactions, be it acquiring a new client, striking deals with suppliers, hiring new employees or even keeping the ones you have. Bear a couple of things in mind to negotiate well:

The personal touch: Whatever be the deal you are trying to negotiate, keeping in contact with the other party is essential. By this we do not mean fixing appointments over the answering machine! Ideally, one should make an effort to meet the client or vendor in person. This will not only secure the other parties’ attention but also give you a chance to assess them closely.

Understand the terrain: The strategy you employ during negotiations will depend upon the other party as well. For instance, if you have common interests, collaboration is the most likely outcome. Compromise is yet another outcome, wherein both parties settle for something a little short of their individual targets. But if your groundwork is strong, you could be calling the shots. Be a patient listener and try to get as much as possible out of the other person; this will put you in the driver’s seat. Prepare and play your cards well, else you could find yourself accommodating more and more concessions.

Aim high: While the idea is to make the deal as beneficial as possible, that’s probably what the other person is going for as well. So, define your targets and keep them high enough to ensure that you do not lose out in the bargain. Ensure a fairly large margin to play with. While setting goals, stick to what is best for your company, (reputation included) rather than that which merely enhances profits. Remember to be discreet about your own goals while negotiating; keep the opponent guessing about what’s on your mind!

Keep the ball rolling: Good negotiating skills require adopting an active stance. For every problem the other party comes up with, discuss possible solutions. Be enthusiastic and persuasive; emphasize common ground and stress on the benefits of the deal to the other person. Unexpected opportunities might emerge during the dialog; hence be prepared to request for more time, if you need to consult with others. Likewise, if dispensable clauses seem to be getting in the way, compromising on them is probably the best thing to do.

See which way the wind blows: Don’t hesitate to make or seek clarifications as this will avoid confusion later. Think twice before you agree to anything new on the spot; there might be more to it than what is obvious. Keep your ears and eyes open for any changes that might not be in the best interest of your business. Calling off a deal that is a no deal is just as important as negotiating well.

Face roadblocks head on: While conflicts are common to all negotiations, they need to be handled with caution. Suggest temporary solutions to problems until they can be discussed at length later. This way you could buy more time to tackle those difficulties efficiently. If there are more than two people on either side then call for a vote to resolve the setback.

The devil is in the details: Once you see the deal through, take care to outline the terms and conditions carefully. Specify the validity of the contract and clauses addressing compensation if the deal falls out among other things. Do this meticulously to avoid loopholes. Attention to minute details will help save precious time and money, should the tide turn against you. Look before you leap; don’t make any commitments before the deal is down in black and white.

There might come a time when it seems like the discussion is headed nowhere; stay patient and focused through it. “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In” by Roger Fisher, William L. Ury and Bruce Patton , could be a good start for those of you wanting to nail the deal at top speed . “Interviewing, Counseling, and Negotiating: Skills for Effective Representation” by Robert M. Bastress and Joseph D. Harbaugh, could improve your negotiating skills a great deal. If poor communication has been getting in the way of your negotiating skills, solve your problem .

Finally, be confident about yourself and your offer; most importantly, end the discussion on a good note, whether you decide for or against the arrangement. With our tips to guide you, “The Negotiator” could well be your second name!