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I’ve always loved the rush of being onstage. I am probably one of the few people who looks back fondly on Easter and Christmas programs at church or school plays in elementary school. I even survived that momentus Easter Sunday I stood on the small stage in the basement of our family church in Steelton, Pennsylvania and realized by the look of maternal horror on my mother’s face that I had begun reciting my sister’s Easter poem instead of my own.

You guessed it: I had learned both our poems by heart….

When I first moved to Germany I worked as an EFL teacher in front of an adult audience for several years. My first professional presentation, however, came back in the late 80′s when I got a job working for a company that developed international brand names for new products, services and companies. The first client meeting I attended was held in English, so – without really warning me beforehand – our managing director decided that I – as the native speaker – should present our proposals to the client. Of course I was nervous! But the natural performer in me kicked in and I put everything I had into making those brand name proposals comes to life – and laid a further cornerstone for my future as a passionate presenter and accomplished presentation skills trainer.

During my 15 year career in advertising, I presented in front of national and international audiences on a regular basis. Because of my reputation as a strong presenter, I was soon asked to put together a workshop on presentation skills for junior and mid-level staff throughout the Middle European region. In my naive quest to cover all the bases, the written module became a virtual laundry list addressing such pressing issues as preparing for the meeting, taking notes for your presentation, writing your presentation, editing your presentation, creating your charts, what visual/audio aids to use, etc. All worthy topics to be sure!

When I began actually conducting the workshop, though, I very quickly discovered three essential facts:

1. You can get a lot of great theoretical information on presenting from any decent book on the subject (or – in the meantime – online),
2. BUT: Most people have no idea how they look when they present
3. AND: Most people – even in the communications industry! – receive little or no direct feedback on their personal presentation performances.

Unbeknownst to me then, these simple discoveries became the seeds that eventually germinated into my Authentic Presentation Personality(TM) workshop series. The Authentic Presentation Personality(TM) workshops are designed to provide people with the opportunity to actually see themselves present, and – via 360 degree feedback – give them realistic insight into the impression they make on an audience while they present. In addition, they receive personalized tips on how to improve their unique impact as a presenter on a mission to sell their Big Ideas. In the meantime what began as one single mosdule hasd been based on my own experience in the workshops as well as the feedback from participatns, I’ve experienced so many resounding AHAs! during my workshops by people who have either seen some unknown side of themselves while presenting or – better still – see the huge improvement sometimes even the slightest modification in their behavior can cause that they could truly be made into a book unto themselves.

One day in the (very near) future maybe?

Of course, nothing can take the place of a LIVE opportunity to practice your presentation skills. In the meantime, though, I would like to leave you with something I share with my workshop participants:

8 Myths Standing between You and Your Authentic Presentation Personality(TM)

• “I’m not a good presenter”!

To quote American presentation trainer, Diane DiResta, “Life is a presentation”! If you ever doubt your skills as a presenter, remember the enthusiasm, wit, pathos and involvement you bring to stories you tell to your friends and family. Consider what habits/traits you have while communicating in your personal life that would enrich your business communication style and make it more authentically you.

• “I’m too nervous to be a good presenter!”

Most people deal with nervous energy before a presentation. Good presenters learn to tap into the energy that is being set free to better transport the enthusiasm and conviction they feel about their ideas!

• “I either have to memorize my presentation or read everything from my charts!”

Memorizing your presentation makes you inflexible for audience interaction, and – believe it or not – your audience can already read. That’s why it’s best to keep your charts brief and memorize the concept and “flow” of your presentation. That way complicated charts don’t distract from what you are saying, you express yourself naturally while presenting, and you can easily react to any questions or comments the audience makes.

• “I have to cover as much information as possible during my presentation!”

Concentrate on your essential message and adapt it to the timeframe available to you. People have limited memory spans, and it’s easier for them to remember what’s important (for them and for you!) if you don’t overload them with facts they already know or nonessential details.

• “I have to darken the room so people can see my charts better!”

People have come to your presentation to hear what YOU have to tell them. They can’t do that very well if they can’t see your face while you talk, or fall asleep in a darkened room.

• “I hate the fact that I move around so much when I present”

Dynamic, purposeful movement energizes you – and your audience! Remember that you’re not restricted to a space the size of a sheet of paper when you present. Use as much of the room as you feel comfortable using. Approach audience members! Point to charts, visuals, models. The more interesting you are to look at while presenting, the easier it is for your audience to pay attention.

• “I use my hands too much when I talk!”

Pay attention to dynamic speakers when they talk! Their hands dramatize and accentuate what they have to say. Of course, it’s distracting for your audience if you are swinging and waving your arms without rhyme or reason. If, however, you use meaningful gestures to emphasize your story, it will enrich the effect of what you are saying.

• “I can’t think if I am looking at someone!”

Yes, you can! Looking directly at individual members of your audience helps strengthen the relationship between you and them. They realize you are talking to – and not just at – them. It not only flatters them, it also keeps them listening more attentively. And it lets you see if everyone understands what you are saying, or if someone needs additional information or wants to make a comment. If you lose your train of thought or feel uncertain about something, simply look at someone who is encouraging you nonverbally. That’ll help relieve your stress, so you can continue with confidence!

Would you agree that your success, in business and in life, is determined by your ability to successfully ask for, and get, what you want? It may have begun when you first asked for a cookie. Today, you may be asking for a $50,000 contract or a higher discount on supplies. The principles are the same. Yet I find people often miss the mark. Clients tell me that they fear negotiations will result in anger, so they never even ask for what they want. Or their negotiations bring about a stalemate. In every instance, we find that four specific keys are missing.

Good negotiation skills can actually increase your credibility, your communication and your business. These simple steps will make all the difference:

Begin with a clear understanding of what you want from the negotiation. Dig below the surface. If you are negotiating for a higher sale price or a discount, you could get stuck on a line item; instead, consider the total picture. What gets you the highest return? Are there tax considerations? Are there costs the other side could absorb? Are there other requests such as timing, financing or down payments to consider? Understand WHY you want what you say you want. Creativity could result in getting a vacation at the end of a conference – with your client picking up the travel cost to the event. Or you might take an equity interest in a company as part of your compensation for potential long-term return. When you recognize your short- and long-term objectives, you are in the best position to negotiate.

State your intention for a win-win negotiation up front. Remove any potential adversarial positioning by addressing it clearly. You might say, “I want to discuss some additional areas where I would like to see changes. My intention is that we reach an agreement that is unquestionably fair to both of us. Is that OK?” Get agreement for the discussion and the ground rules for openness and fairness before proceeding.

Ask questions to elicit the underlying needs of the other party. As you probably discovered in the first step, there may be many important points requiring discussion. If you were negotiating to purchase real estate, you might ask what the sellers intended to do with the money. Knowing whether they had already purchased another home, or whether they wanted ongoing cash flow from an investment, would dictate entirely different approaches to handling the transaction. Keep asking questions until you have a very good understanding of what will satisfy their needs. You are then ready for the next step.

Be flexible in meeting both parties’ needs while making small concessions. If you have done the first three steps, you now have a significant list of possibilities…and it is time to be creative. Do you have services or connections that would assist the other party? Can you offer discounts or timing flexibility? Be prepared to expand beyond your original request. Make small concessions one at a time in order to keep the conversation moving forward. Never give your final offer until you have already conceded many small points. Why? If you give a final offer without first realizing that you are giving something valuable, you may reach an early impasse. And it is entirely possible that by using this method, you will reach an agreement far more favorable to you than you originally imagined – while also satisfying the other party.

By following the four keys above, you will enjoy significantly greater success in negotiations. However, if either party is doing one of the following, the negotiation has little chance to succeed.

FATAL APPROACHES IN NEGOTIATION

Fixating on the impossible. There are times that a past event becomes an issue. Perhaps a deadline has passed, or an event was ruined. In a recent negotiation, the mother of the bride repeated the statement that her daughter was crying on her wedding day. It is important to acknowledge that YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST. The point of negotiation is to agree to something that is in the present and carries forward. Both parties must agree to consider only the options available at this point. Fixation on the past can be a no-win tactic because it puts greater emphasis on the currency of emotion.

Negotiating for power or pain. In divorces or other emotionally charged situations, there is often little possibility of a win-win outcome, because one or both parties care only about bringing pain to the other side. Money is simply a vehicle for distributing the hurt – and as a result, no one can really win. If you find yourself in this situation, go back to step one. Get to the bottom of what you really want and encourage the other party to do the same.

Mastering these principles requires great introspection, listening skills and clear communication. But they can make you a skilled negotiator. Not only that, skilled negotiations can increase the confidence that people place in you.

Ready, set…negotiate!